Not for the first time, I'm finding it hard to dig beneath the surface impossibility of my current situation to get to the truth, which is that the intuitive vision of my wisest self has never let me down, even when disaster felt imminent. Why am I telling you this now? Because I need to hear it.

When I woke on 11/11 wondering whether I had used up my lifetime quota of miracles, I recalled an 11/11 dream of a few years back that helped me when my faith was equally challenged. It helped again that day.

In classic tarot iconography, the Fool is always represented accompanied by a small dog. On the Fool’s Journey I embarked upon, reluctantly and fearfully, back in May 2019, that dog was Kyri. I had rescued him eight months earlier in Portland, but he would rescue me daily through the 93 days of that open-ended road odyssey.

It was a journey that would carry me more than 20,000 miles across half a continent and through 14 states.

"I am a writer. Period." I wasn't so sure about that while writing The Bard of Bryn Doon, which was such an intensely challenging experience that I was seriously tempted to give up. Often. And not only on this book, but on *all* books. Somehow, though, I managed to get through it, and I now think that my newest book may be my best yet! I guess I'm going to keep a writing after all!!

If you’ve read the acknowledgments pages in any of my books, you will know that I am highly sensitive to the energy of place and that I always thank those locales that inspired me in writing that particular work. Well, a few days ago, as I was preparing the acknowledgments for my newest book, it occurred to me that of my soon-to-be-19 books, 17 had been conceived, written and published here in the US!

I'm not saying that I could not have been as creative or successful had my car not turned left instead of right 24 years ago today, but as this country is where I have experienced the bulk of my creative output, today seemed the perfect day to acknowledge that.

Although I don't write "gay fiction," Bernie Freed and Erik Donnekin, major characters in all three of my "Sara Stories" novels are gay, and their stories, including Bernie's coming out, are integral to the plots of Sara's Year, After Sara's Year and The Emmeline Papers.

And although the following scene from Sara's Year didn't play out identically in my life, I did have a similar experience with a friend who, with good but misplaced intentions, tried to push me out of the closet by telling me that I was gay. He was right, of course, but it would take another year for me to get to the place I describe in yesterday’s Acts of Surrender excerpt.

It took all the courage I could muster at age 20 to call Gay Montreal and stammer "I-I think I'm gay" into the phone, then take the bus downtown and purposefully talk about it, face-to-face, with a gay man.

Twenty-seven years ago this month The MoonQuest hit me over the head and demanded I write it. I'd never written a novel before and doubted I could. Boy, was I wrong!

I'm excited by this new, surprising direction, which feels like a sort of coming out – both within myself and out in the world. Suddenly, in addition to all the other kinds of writer I am, I'm something else...something I never expected to call myself!

It took all the courage I could muster at age 20 to call Gay Montreal and stammer 'I-I think I'm gay' into the phone and then take the bus downtown and purposefully talk about it, face-to-face, with a gay man.

That was my first coming out; there would be four more: at 39 when I reluctantly dropped the 'gay' label, at 43 when I married a woman and came out as no-longer-gay to my gay friends, at 50 when I lost the 'married' label, and at 54 when I came out all over again as a gay man.

But the first 'coming out' is always the toughest.

When I “landed” in Sedona a year ago today, after one of the most financially and emotionally challenging periods in my life, I couldn’t know that I was about to make this place my home. For the third time

In the Jewish tradition, the number 18 carries special spiritual significance. That's because its letters spell out chai (pronounced "khai"), the Hebrew word for "life." The Chinese also view 18 as propitious, associating it with prosperity and success. In numerology, 18 is equally positive; 1 represents new beginnings, 8 is also a number of success and 9 (1+8) is the number of completion. As well, eighteen is the age when we leave childhood behind and move into adulthood. Here’s why all this is relevan…