If you read my most recent blog post, you’ll know that I have turned my life upside down once again: I have sold everything I own (not for the first time) and jammed the essentials (including my dog, Kyri) into my Prius and have taken off for parts unknown. I’m chronicling the journey in more detail on Facebook (the “My Fool’s Journey” album), but I’ll do my best to post highlights here and to post new content as well.
Day 4...
I couldn’t know, when I wrote my first Way of the Fool book last year in Portland, that I would be called to live its precepts more fully than I could ever have imagined. Yet here I am, much like the Fool on the classic tarot card, taking one leap of faith after the next as I travel the US (and maybe into Canada) with my little dog and with all I own stuffed into my bindle, which in my case is my Prius.
On this open-ended journey I have no fixed destination and often only know in the moment where to go next. (Step #2 of The Way of the Fool is “be in the moment.”)
It’s as though I moved to Portland in order to write the two Fool books that would push me out of Portland and launch me on this journey.
Now that I’m on it, I know with absolute certainty that this is the highest path for me for right now, which eases but doesn’t eliminate the anxiety. Although I have made similar journeys in the past (one lasted 30 months!) this is my biggest leap of faith ever and it calls on more reserves of faith and courage than some days I believe I possess. That’s because, unlike my previous journeys, I have no idea how I’ll be supported financially on this odyssey.
What I do know is that, somehow, I have always been supported in every intuitive choice I have made and that I have never been let down when I have acted from my deepest heart. Even in my moments of most acute anxiety, I must acknowledge that.
Earlier today, one of my longtime Facebook friends (we have never met in person), a deeply spiritual woman whose intuitive sensings I have always respected, responded to one of my Fool’s Journey posts there by encouraging me to make it possible for people to make donations to me. To be honest, I was reluctant. I didn’t want to come at this from a place of lack. At the same time, I know from the comments on Facebook that many have been touched and/or inspired by this Fool’s journey I have undertaken, which I find deeply gratifying, particularly as my original plan was to not share my day-to-day experiences.
Given that, I will gratefully and humbly accept any donations you feel called to make to support me on this journey. There are several ways you can do this.
Apple Pay Cash via iMessage
Facebook Messenger
Directly via credit/debit card (message me for details)
Whether or not you choose to support me financially on this Fool’s Journey, I am profoundly grateful for all your blessings and good wishes. They help sustain me in my moments of doubt, which usually kick in around 4am!
Day 7
The Fool’s Journey isn’t all stunning scenery and selfies, although a Fool-fledged Fool might see it that way. At the very least, s/he would take all that occurs on the journey in his/her stride.
I do pretty well most days, but this morning I woke up in full-on (not Fool-on) panic: Would I manifest the resources needed to keep going or would I run out in the middle of some godforsaken nowhere? And what was I thinking, taking off like this with practically nothing? (I have no storage unit; everything I own is in the car with me and Kyri.) Where would I end up? How could I even land anywhere with no “startup” funds?
It didn’t help that I was organizing some of my photos last night, I came across those from my journey from Albuquerque to Portland last year. I was scared then, too, but I was excited about my new life in Portland and hopeful about all the ways it might play out. Yet here I was, not even 18 months later, pushed out the other side of the Portland “portal land” without a clue what awaits me.
The Way of the Fool, of course, covers all those real human anxieties and more.
Step #2 is Be In the Moment. (Am I okay today? Yes? Then there’s nothing to worry about.)
Step # 10 is Embrace the Mystery. (It’s okay to not know!)
Step #11 is Embrace the Magic. (Miracles can show up in any moment. In fact, they’re already present in each moment)
Every other step in both my Way of the Fool books also applies, but I don’t have time to recap the two books here. The bottom line is that every word I have ever written and every precept I have ever taught as teacher and coach — and not only to writers — supports every aspect of this journey I have undertaken. So how can I do anything but surrender to it? After all, my memoir is titled Acts of Surrender!
Now, as I pack up for another day on this Fool’s Journey, with no idea which road will call me or where it will take me, I am forced to remember all I have been, done and written (Step #12 is Remember Who You Are) and to remember as well that whenever I have let go (Step #6) and followed my heart (Step #3), I have always been embraced and supported. Why would this journey be any different?
I wasn’t going to share my morning panic here with you until I remembered Step #5 (Be Vulnerable). It’s our vulnerability that makes us human. It’s our shared vulnerability that gives others permission to open their hearts as well. I hope that one of my gifts to you in chronicling this journey is the permission it gives you to share your stories, vulnerably and from your heart. For in the end, so much of what I’m about is helping others to share their stories.
May your journey today be as wondrous as I now know mine will turn out to be…as it already is.
PS Just a reminder that I welcome all your blessings of support, including the financial. You can donate through PayPal at https://www.paypal.me/markdavidgerson.